How it Works

To Begin

Find a time to sit down with your partner when you both are relaxed and present.

The Captain Method

Partnerhood helps you and your partner divide up responsibilities using the Captain Method. Together, you’ll elect one person to be the Captain of each household task. This creates clear ownership over tasks and reduces confusion and arguments about who is supposed to do what.

How to Captain a Task:

The Captain is the ultimate owner of the task and is responsible for both remembering the task and actually doing it. Here are some tips for being the Captain:

Be proactive about getting the task done; don’t wait for a reminder from your partner (you totally got this!)
You get autonomy over the task, free of micromanagement from your partner (hooray!)
If you go out of town, you have to delegate your task to someone else

How to Co-Captain a Task

You can also decide to Co-Captain a task with your partner, which means you tag-team it, baby! This requires great communication. Here are the ways you can co-captain a task:

Split the task (e.g. we each do our own laundry)
Divide by day (e.g. I cook MWF, you cook T,Th,SA)

Create captains of sub-tasks (e.g. I own home insurance, you own car insurance)
Do it together (e.g. we walk the dog together each morning)

How to Play

Divide — Lay the cards on the table and divide them up based on which tasks you both already do
Discuss — Take time to talk through the current balance
Rebalance —Trade cards to ensure that tasks are divided in a way where everyone is happy
Celebrate — schedule time on the calendar to celebrate your partnership (date night, say thank you, love letters, whatever works for you)
Repeat — it’s important to revisit the task balance monthly (or at whatever interval works for you)